Priceless, YES. Free, NO.

A fellow adoptive mom has been posting adoption facts on Facebook to help educate the masses during November, which is National Adoption Awareness month.

Today's fact: The cost of an international adoption is approx. $25k-40k and takes approx. 1.5 years to complete (depending on the country.) Most Children adopted internationally are under 5 years of age.

I commented that Taye's adoption fell into all 3 of those categories.She responded that theirs did as well (especially the $ part) and asked how many grants we had applied for and if we received any.

Now folks, I know that often talking about money is taboo, but when it comes to adoption your life is pretty much an open book. People feel free to ask you questions about anything and everything. Sometimes people are even so bold as to ask *gasp* how much it costs.

If I have learned one thing through this process, it is that when God wants an adoption to take place, He will provide the means necessary. Our process has been nothing short of a financial miracle. We received no assistance, no grants, and are not eligible for any of the adoption tax credit. We live on a single income from full time ministry.

That means that God has worked miracles to make our adoption happen. We were able to sell some household items, do a few extra speaking engagements, and were given items to sell for a fundraiser to help with our costs. More than that, we were amazed as checks rolled in from family, friends, and even complete strangers. Every step of the way when a bill was due, somehow we had the money to pay it.

All that to say, glory be to God. Thank you to those of you whose hearts were moved and listened to the stirring of the Holy Spirit and decided to do something about it by giving.

Do you know anyone who is adopting? If you can think of anyone--even if they are a remote acquaintance, do right by them and write a check. Whether it's $25 or whether it's $500, you are now aware of how much an adoption costs and therefore privileged to be able to help.

When we were most discouraged in our process or the numbers were not adding up, that is the time a check would arrive in the mail bringing us a renewed sense of hope, thankfulness to God, and restoring our faith in the goodness of people and their generosity--especially in tough economic times.

Dan often says, "he's as much our child as he is yours" because of how many people felt led to help us complete our journey to Taye.

Now that we've sent our FINAL payment to the 0% interest loans we were gifted (thank you ABBA Fund and Pathways for Little Feet), we are excited to be back in the position to be fiscally encouraging to fellow-adopting families.

Simple things: a bath

We took this inflatable duck tub to Ethiopia to bathe Taye in (they only have sinks or showers there). We brought it home and kept using it so we could bathe him separately from everyone else in case he had any parasites/rashes/bugs, etc. Good thing we did because he tested positive for giardia. Until he has enough negative tests, we will continue to bathe him in the duck. (This involves thoroughly sanitizing his ducky tub, bath toys, and the bathtub every time we give him a bath)

The most challenging part of bathing Taye is taking good care of his hair. First we lather with “Dark and Lovely” shampoo.

Next we have to comb or pick through his hair to try to get out tangles or snarls.

Apparently we need to lather once more (I think it feels good to rub his head after all the pulling from combing out his super gnarly curls)

Rinse. (He really IS smiling here—just another of Taye’s “funny faces”)

Next up: Product!

We “schmear” this kid with lotion from heat to toe. Literally.

Pick through the hair yet again.

Rub on some “Africa’s Best” hair oil.

Then we goof off a little bit. Mommy cannot WAIT until he can pull off the pick-in-hair look!

Finally, we are “all done”!

…and I’m exhausted.

Thankfully we only have to do the bathing/hair washing part twice a week.

3 months

We're finally starting to experience the "language explosion" everyone told us would knock our socks off. My socks are still quite on, but Taye is finally beginning to mimic our words, try his best to explain things to us (although 95% of the time we have no idea what he's saying, we definitely encourage all the intense chatter complete with hand motions he uses when he puts his mind to communicating something to us), and add a word or two daily to his little repertoire. We're also experiencing the "normal" challenges that come with his newfound language--such as we tell Taye to do something and he uses his words to tell us "no" while also shaking his head back and forth. Taye also spends a lot of time in timeout.

I'm going to give him another week or two before deciding whether or not he needs another stool test to see whether or not we've finally conquered the giardia bug. I was discouraged that he had lost some weight (down to 23 1/2 pounds from his previous 24) when we took him to the doctor's office for his second round of vaccinations and flu mist. I'll be very happy to add dairy back into his diet and start packing on those ounces and dare I dream pounds?

I've seen some great advances in socialization. Although he turns up the decibels on the scream chart when I drop him off to nursery or Moppets, that is such a good sign of attachment and bonding. I have not been called out of church/MOPS at all to come get him (Liam never made it longer than 20-30 min when he was a baby) and his caregivers assure me he settles down and enjoys himself. This is a huge relief.

We've tried to teach Taye to put his hand out and say "stop" when something is upsetting him rather than hitting. And sometimes I think he is over-using his new-found "weapon", but I'll take that over the previous hitting, spitting, and biting any day.

Taye is a CHAMP at learning routine and picks up kinesthetic things super fast. He dresses himself, puts his dirty clothes in the laundry chute, dirty dishes in the dishwasher, climbs into his car seat by himself, and is getting better at brushing his own teeth. He runs around with his siblings frustrated only that he's not as big or fast as they are and that he's not able to do all the same things they are doing.

I'm able to put him down for an afternoon nap and walk away. Occasionally there's still a whimper and cry, but a reminder that I'm here and that it's naptime and he is to go to sleep quietly now does the trick. The nighttime routine is all Dan, who still chooses to sit in his room with him. Personally, I think Dan just likes a little quiet time to himself or a quick nap in a dark room on a hardwood floor.

We all thoroughly enjoy laughing at the many "funny faces" Taye makes at us. This little guy is chock full of personality--which assures us that he is definitely one of ours! Liam lights up when he gets off the bus and sees his "little buddy" and the girls and Taye are starting to play *gasp* together.

We cannot wait for snow to see how Taye reacts to the cold, wet, white stuff. It's fun looking ahead and anticipating things with Taye rather than just surviving an hour or a day with him. I'm starting to feel the cumbersome and heavy mantle of transitioning shift to actual living.

Fall stuff

Taye has just jumped right in with all our fall-isms. The pumpkin patch didn't imbue him with any sense of wonder, he just watched what the sibs did, and did it too. Even throwing rocks at the roosters...(so sorry, pumpkin patch owners!)

Today was another first: caramel and candy covered apples. I think he liked it?

Welcome to Michigan

And we haven't even hit the "cold" weather yet!

Growth

Lots of people ask, "how's it going"? So I guess a little update is in order.

Taye is a trooper. He is in the midst of teething, a cold (or at least cold-like teething symptoms), just got another set of immunizations and flu mist (up the nose--ugh!) as well as being on round two of treatment for giardia. Not to mention cold weather, which is wreaking havoc on his already dry and sensitive skin. Still, he'll smile, laugh, and ham it up for whoever will give him an audience.

Today I took him to the grocery store *gasp* alone. All the other kids were at school. We had a blast. I told him the word for whatever he was pointing to, and he fell in love with the word "onion". Which he pronounces like "un-ying".

He got to eat a sample of cracker with peanut butter and drink a cup of apple juice. When he was finished, he blurted out, "Mah, all done", as if he's said it a million times and wasn't even thinking twice. I nearly lost it there in the grocery aisle. I'm finally really and truly starting to feel like "Mah" to Taye.

We're still working on independent sleeping (he's whimpering and squealing in his crib as I type this from the couch rather than the hallway...but we've gotta keep moving) and the hand that automatically raises to hit is starting to stay raised rather than to instantly strike whoever he feels has just wronged him or is within striking distance when he is mad.

Unless I'm mistaken, we have turned the corner. Yes, there is still lots of paperwork, a few more expenses, shots to get him all caught up, language to master, rough nap/nighttimes to endure, discipline and regimen to stick to and there will still be bumps and bungles along the way, but I truly believe we are on the up and up.

Finally.

(ps--whimpering and squealing has progressed to full-on screaming...guess we're not as far along down the road as I had hoped...)

Cutting teeth

I wasn't there for his first tooth...or his first 18 teeth for that matter. But I'm so excited (despite the runny nose, and constant crankiness) to be here for his last two.

We'll be able to tell him that he came to us with a mouth full of teeth and two gaps on the bottom that we figured were just empty spaces void of teeth.

To my utter surprise the other night while doing a "good brush" of his teeth, I noticed two little white dots on his gums and instantly pulled his jaw open for a better view. I poked and felt his gums, and sure enough there are some teeth working their way through!

So yes, runny nose, cranky etc. But totally worth it to be able to have a "teeth coming in" story WITH Taye!